More on shag bands.

November 2, 2009 at 2:58 pm (In the news, My musings)

The response to my post about Shag Bands is still ongoing. I am discovering that many are searching for information on what the different colours of shag bands mean, and coming across my blog. Sooo… I felt perhaps it’s time to address the question that so many are asking: what do the shag band colours mean?

I have been looking into this question a lot. One thing is becoming increasingly clear; the meanings vary from country to country, from town to town, from school to school. I have compiled a little list of what most of them generally mean across the board. In my original post about this, I wasn’t keen to focus too heavily on the meanings, quite frankly, because it made me cringe. I figured, as long as the reader has a general idea of what the bands represent, then that’s enough. But, for those who are curious, here is a general list of what some of the colours can mean:

Black: Sex.
Glow in the dark: Using sex toys.
Yellow: Hug.
Blue: Fellatio.
Purple: This one seems to have a variety of meanings, depending on where you are. It could mean french kissing, or oral sex, it really just depends on the area.
Clear: In some places, it means whatever the snapper wants, in others, whatever the girl wants.
Green: Masturbating the wearer or snapper. Again, this varies.
Brown: Anal, oral sex.
Glitter: Some sources say ‘flashing’, others say it means, ‘girl’s choice’. It can also be the male’s choice in other places.
Gold: all of the above.

I’ve stopped there, although there are many more colours. I think this gives a pretty good idea of how it ‘works’.

What I really think needs to be addressed, going by all the hysteria among parents and the general community, is why are so many people so desperate to find out the meanings of the colours? The so-called ‘rules’ will be made up inside the school! Nothing can substitute us parents taking an interest in our kids, and asking them the vital questions if we feel this might be going on. Ask about the meaning. Find out how far the other kids are taking it, whether they see it as a joke that isn’t really acted on (in my researching this topic, the general consensus seems to be that most kids are smart enough to know that they don’t have to act on a band being snapped, and if they do, it’s usually only for the hugs and kiss type bands), or whether some kids are really doing the acts that the ‘rules’ spell out.

Since I’ve been looking into this, it seems there is a minority of teens who brag that they actually acted on some of the more hard core colours. But are these teens that were sexually active anyway? Think back to when you were in high school. How many kids were bragging about sexual acts they’d never actually done?

It may sound as though this post is telling you not to worry at all. But hey, we’re parents, and it’s our job to worry, right? But panicking is not helping anyone. Shag bands or not, something we all need to be teaching our kids, is the importance of having respect for ourselves, and for the opposite sex. That no one should be forced to do anything they don’t want to do, or that they are too young to be doing. That if someone is not sexually active or experimenting, no one has the right to belittle them for it.

We need to teach our girls that they are not put on this planet to simply please males or fulfil their fantasies. We especially need to drum this lesson into the males of our society. Women are so much more than their beauty or their sexuality. We have brains, feelings, and sex is one aspect of our womanhood. A much smaller aspect than society would have us believe.

Above all, as parents, if we truly believe this is going on with our children, and at a level that is unacceptable to you, you DO have the power and the responsibility to say NO to your child. If you feel it is necessary, see if they can be banned from school. It’s not what each colour represents that is the issue. It’s about your child’s (particularly girls) level of self esteem. Confident girls seem to be able to see these as a light hearted thing, and don’t really take them seriously. Girls with lower self esteem who like to seek out attention and peer approval might be more likely to take it more seriously.

Let’s work on giving our girls a fantastic self esteem. Isn’t this the main issue here? Let’s raise girls who will laugh this off and tell the guys at school, ‘as if, loser!’.

There is this belief among many parents that once children reach their teens, you can’t ‘control’ them anymore, or enforce boundaries. Maybe not, but we can try! It is becoming more apparent nowadays, that if teens have a loving, close relationship with their parents and feel they can trust and talk to them openly, that they are more likely to listen and respect the rules. If you feel strongly enough about something, be it shag bands or any other issue, say no to your child and explain why you feel so strongly about it. Teens listen so much more than they let on. Little kids, even more so.

I hope this helps put this can of worms to rest, LOL! Let me know what your view is on this, I know most people have very strong views on it either way.


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October 17, 2009 at 12:10 pm (My musings)

Gosh, it’s been a while since I’ve posted here, hasn’t it? It’s been school holidays and terribly hectic. Not only have we had the usual chaos that comes with the turf of having three kiddies home on holidays, but my darling fiance and his sister have been in the process of selling their deceased mother’s house as well. So, there’s been much painting, cleaning, phonecalls, and so forth. Such a hard thing, to say good bye to someone so special, and wrap up her affairs.

Thank you for the lovely comments on this blog, they are very encouraging, especially considering how new this blog is. I’ve not only been running around after the kids, I’ve been knitting up a storm, making woollen soakers (cloth nappy covers) for my two little ones. My one year old baby girl has just gone up a size, and my son needed a couple more just for nights. Here’s my darling baby girl modelling one of my latest ones:

It’s not a decorative one like some of my others have been, as I was in a huge hurry to churn some out quickly, plus she really needed a plain pink one to go under her myriad of pink-ish dresses.

I’ve also been working on some knitting patterns for toys which came to me one night, and the whole thing has just snowballed, so soon I will have some free knitting patterns for anyone interested in knitting baby, child or cat toys. So watch this space!

The two older kids have been having a ball making cubby houses, dog homes, dragon’s lairs and lots of craft! Anyway, this post is more just to touch base, and to let you know I haven’t dropped off the face of the earth, LOL! I hope my readers are well.

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It’s my daughter’s birthday!

September 28, 2009 at 11:35 am (My musings)

She’s nine years old today, happy birthday my darling!

Gosh, it’s going too fast. I still remember giving birth to her a month early, and her cute little inquisitive face, pursing her lips like a little princess. It’s hard to imagine how one day she can be this beautiful, tiny little newborn, and the next, a beautiful young girl, cruising through grade three with extremely high marks. She is so creative, imaginative, and so helpful and kind. She’s also got a kick arse sense of humour!

I look back at how quickly it’s all gone by, and I know the next few years will fly even faster, and before I know it, she’ll be a teen, with a whole new set of experiences! I just want to put a brick on her head, and make her stop growing for at least a day..

I also wish I would get better at making birthday cakes really quickly, and our bloody oven would just work! After running around after my 18 month old and my three year old (who was feeling sick today), it was only after dinner tonight that I got a chance to bake my darling a birthday cake! Eep.

I found a recipe for just a basic vanilla cake, and realised I’d chucked out all our cake tins! Argh. Maybe it’s time to stop being quite so ruthless when I declutter… So, I grabbed a pyrex oven bake dish, doubled the batter, shoved it quickly into the oven. After the oven turned off too many times, and I’d re-lit it (cursing under my breath so the little ones wouldn’t learn some new words they shouldn’t), I produced a very long, flat cake! Oh, for god’s sake!!

I was really starting to feel bad for my princess, having such a crappy cake. Then I remembered the cake I destoyed in 2007. It was a heart-shaped cake, and of course, I broke it in half getting it out of the pan. Yeah, I really don’t have much luck with cakes… I glued it back together with chocolate icing, then covered it all over with icing, then poured 100’s and 1000’s all over it. All the kids informed my daughter, ‘your mum makes the BEST cakes ever!’

So, just as I was about to throw a tantrum on the kitchen floor and scream about how much I suck at birthday cakes, I kept this chocolate heart cake in mind, and decided to just cheat my way through it. So I cut the long, flat, dry thing in half, quickly cooked a raspberry syrup on the stove top (this is why I am never without berries of every type in my freezer), poured the syrup in as a sandwich-type filling, quickly iced it, shoved some blueberries on top, then poured more syrup on top of that.

The verdict from the little ones?
‘Best cake ever!’

The moral? We may truly suck, but in the eyes of a child, we ROCK!

Here’s the cake:

I still think it looks bloody awful, but you can see my son in the background, gasping in awe. It did taste good, too.

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