More on shag bands.

November 2, 2009 at 2:58 pm (In the news, My musings)

The response to my post about Shag Bands is still ongoing. I am discovering that many are searching for information on what the different colours of shag bands mean, and coming across my blog. Sooo… I felt perhaps it’s time to address the question that so many are asking: what do the shag band colours mean?

I have been looking into this question a lot. One thing is becoming increasingly clear; the meanings vary from country to country, from town to town, from school to school. I have compiled a little list of what most of them generally mean across the board. In my original post about this, I wasn’t keen to focus too heavily on the meanings, quite frankly, because it made me cringe. I figured, as long as the reader has a general idea of what the bands represent, then that’s enough. But, for those who are curious, here is a general list of what some of the colours can mean:

Black: Sex.
Glow in the dark: Using sex toys.
Yellow: Hug.
Blue: Fellatio.
Purple: This one seems to have a variety of meanings, depending on where you are. It could mean french kissing, or oral sex, it really just depends on the area.
Clear: In some places, it means whatever the snapper wants, in others, whatever the girl wants.
Green: Masturbating the wearer or snapper. Again, this varies.
Brown: Anal, oral sex.
Glitter: Some sources say ‘flashing’, others say it means, ‘girl’s choice’. It can also be the male’s choice in other places.
Gold: all of the above.

I’ve stopped there, although there are many more colours. I think this gives a pretty good idea of how it ‘works’.

What I really think needs to be addressed, going by all the hysteria among parents and the general community, is why are so many people so desperate to find out the meanings of the colours? The so-called ‘rules’ will be made up inside the school! Nothing can substitute us parents taking an interest in our kids, and asking them the vital questions if we feel this might be going on. Ask about the meaning. Find out how far the other kids are taking it, whether they see it as a joke that isn’t really acted on (in my researching this topic, the general consensus seems to be that most kids are smart enough to know that they don’t have to act on a band being snapped, and if they do, it’s usually only for the hugs and kiss type bands), or whether some kids are really doing the acts that the ‘rules’ spell out.

Since I’ve been looking into this, it seems there is a minority of teens who brag that they actually acted on some of the more hard core colours. But are these teens that were sexually active anyway? Think back to when you were in high school. How many kids were bragging about sexual acts they’d never actually done?

It may sound as though this post is telling you not to worry at all. But hey, we’re parents, and it’s our job to worry, right? But panicking is not helping anyone. Shag bands or not, something we all need to be teaching our kids, is the importance of having respect for ourselves, and for the opposite sex. That no one should be forced to do anything they don’t want to do, or that they are too young to be doing. That if someone is not sexually active or experimenting, no one has the right to belittle them for it.

We need to teach our girls that they are not put on this planet to simply please males or fulfil their fantasies. We especially need to drum this lesson into the males of our society. Women are so much more than their beauty or their sexuality. We have brains, feelings, and sex is one aspect of our womanhood. A much smaller aspect than society would have us believe.

Above all, as parents, if we truly believe this is going on with our children, and at a level that is unacceptable to you, you DO have the power and the responsibility to say NO to your child. If you feel it is necessary, see if they can be banned from school. It’s not what each colour represents that is the issue. It’s about your child’s (particularly girls) level of self esteem. Confident girls seem to be able to see these as a light hearted thing, and don’t really take them seriously. Girls with lower self esteem who like to seek out attention and peer approval might be more likely to take it more seriously.

Let’s work on giving our girls a fantastic self esteem. Isn’t this the main issue here? Let’s raise girls who will laugh this off and tell the guys at school, ‘as if, loser!’.

There is this belief among many parents that once children reach their teens, you can’t ‘control’ them anymore, or enforce boundaries. Maybe not, but we can try! It is becoming more apparent nowadays, that if teens have a loving, close relationship with their parents and feel they can trust and talk to them openly, that they are more likely to listen and respect the rules. If you feel strongly enough about something, be it shag bands or any other issue, say no to your child and explain why you feel so strongly about it. Teens listen so much more than they let on. Little kids, even more so.

I hope this helps put this can of worms to rest, LOL! Let me know what your view is on this, I know most people have very strong views on it either way.

Advertisements

Permalink 1 Comment

‘Shag bands’ – would you let your child wear one?

September 27, 2009 at 7:23 am (In the news)

Do you know what a ‘shag band’ is? Apparently, it’s a rubber bracelet that is available in different colours. They were popular in the 70’s and 80’s in high schools, and now are taking off in popularity once again, this time in primary schools.


(photo from Getty Images)

The ‘buzz’ with these bracelets, is that girls wear them, and if a boy breaks one, she is supposed to perform a favour for the boy, based on colour. To break an orange one would ‘win’ the snapper a kiss, yellow is a hug. Black supposedly means the girl is to have sex. You can read today’s news.com.au article about it.

It discusses the concern that girls are being sexualised too early, and being taught that they are simply there for a male’s pleasure. I mostly feel the same way, but it also concerns me because this sort of talk completely cancels out a girl’s right to give consent, or the fact that hello, they are KIDS!

The whole thing sounds horrifying if you are a parent, more so if you have daughters. But, if you ask the wearers, it’s all a big joke. The general vibe is that most kids wouldn’t really do anything, and if asked to, would probably laugh it off. I am inclined to believe this. I remember when I was in school in the 80’s some girls wearing them, but never heard the ‘legend’ until my fiance told me years later.

So, if your daughter comes home wearing these, what do you do? Do you ban them? Or do you be ‘cool parent’, and allow yourself to believe it’s not really happening? Personally, whilst I feel they are probably (and hopefully!) harmless, knowing the myth behind it, I don’t believe I’d be comfortable with my girls wearing these and being spoken to in such a way. Maybe I’m a prude, but I just want my daughters to be treated with more respect than that. Thankfully my daughters haven’t had these things, and I hope it stays that way.

How do others feel? Would you laugh it off and let your kids wear it as harmless fun? Or would you take the hard line and ban them?

Permalink 4 Comments